Army of Darkness

The first time I saw this movie, I was writing my thesis and I was always mega tired. One night we put it and the heater on, and the warmth and my tiredness caused me to fall asleep just before the big battle scene.

When I woke up, I’d been asleep for so long that the tape [yes, it was on VHS!] had ended, rewound itself and the TV had switched back to a regular station, which happened to be the ABC, which happened to be showing a American period drama about a railroad being built … which I happened to watch for about 20 minutes before realising it was most definitely not Army of Darkness.

I’ve seen the movie many times since and it is one of my favourite horror movies.

Happy Halloween!

In response to my fans #1

I get so many comments on my blog, from all corners of the world, and I decided it was time to give back a little, so I thought I should provide some responses to questions or comments that have been left on my blog lately.

On a vague post I wrote about how time is finite and we all need to get some living done, Girl Nextdoor asks ‘Where did you learn about this? Can you give me the source?’

Dear Girl Nextdoor,

Well, the thoughts were my own, from my own head. I don’t really understand where thoughts come from, only that most of mine involve schemes to not wear pants or to hunt, gather and eat Reese’s brownies. The photo? Well that’s Bob Dylan. He came from his parents. You need to ask your parents about that, this isn’t a sex advice column.

On my post about the tattoo I recently got, aparadekto says ‘Hey, I can’t view your site properly within Opera, I actually hope you look into fixing this’.

Dear aparadekto,

I actually would look into this if your name looked legitimate, or if I had any idea what Opera was. I’m assuming it is some kind of computer thing? Let me tell you how much I know about computer things: I type with three fingers and when on the phone to IT recently, I replied ‘What’s that?’ when they asked what operating system I use and my computer screen is covered in sneezes sneezed by my cat.

However, this was a good post and I can understand you wanting to look at it properly. You’ll just have to trust me that it was the bomb shits.

On a post about how it was almost the weekend, which I wittily called ‘Nearly the squeakend!’, maxi cosi says: ‘Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thinks about this, I am really fan of your blog…gets …’

Dear maxi cosi,

Can I PM you and ask you to marry me, because that is seriously almost the best sentence I have ever read. I have so many thinks that I thinks you would like me to share with you. Some of them are dirty.


This post also garnered a very interesting comment from cadilax, who said: ‘acomplia =-((( ordering cialis online 7910 xanax and grapefruit 7630’

Dear cadilax, and I do see what you did there with your name, I hope you don’t mind if I translate this for some of my more gentle readers.

Readers, what cadilax is saying here is:


Do you ever feel really, really sad? Sad and lonely? So sad that you think about ordering discreet products from Amazon? Do you think that one day you’ll end up like Margot Tenenbaum, sitting in a lukewarm bath, popping Xanax, eating only grapefruit and smoking 7630 cigarettes a day because you’re conscious of your weight ?

cadilax, while I appreciate the pop-culture reference and the imagery there, no, I don’t often feel that way. However, were I to wake up looking like Margot Tenenbaum, I would buy discreet products from Amazon for everyone I knew to celebrate my macabre hotness.

If Kanye has one, it must be cool…right?

When I got my promotion at work, I thought it would be nice to buy myself a good quality watch, being that it was kinda big moment and watches are typically a milestone-at-work type gift. I actually have a lot of watches, but most of them are cheap plastic numbers and I don’t really like them anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was awesome for all of ten seconds to own a plastic watch that said ‘When did rock ‘n’ roll become so fucking boring?’ on the face, and then I realised that I have no idea what the kids listen to today, let alone if it’s boring.

The other day I tried to tell the kids that Sleepytime Gorilla Museum are great, and I got told that they sounded like a Mars Volta rip-off [for the record, they sound nothing alike and I like both bands and am happy for them to co-exist]. Thus, a watch deriding the taste of the youth is not the watch for me.

In my search for watches, I came across this bad boy:

I like that it’s both industrial and futuristic [and yes, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that if you wear as much black as I do, and still hold a soft spot for NIN, even the NIN that sounds like the soundtrack to an aerobics video, there is some industrial-fu in you. Which reminds me, Pretty Hate Machine got a remaster and will be re-released. This is exciting news!]. There’s a black and silver version, but I am much more tempted by the black.

The only thing that concerns me is that the black version is described as being alumite coated alumininium and when I got past wondering what that would taste like if I licked it, I wondered how it holds up to being bumped or scratched. I don’t really want a black watch with, say, silver scratches all over it. So! If anyone is an alumite coated alumininium expert, please, feel free to let me know what to expect.

Still. Pretty good year.

The last few weeks I have been feeling pretty uninspired and distracted. Yesterday was no exception, until late in the afternoon when I sent Fiona a link to pictures and video from this year’s Soundset festival.

It took of of about three seconds for her to spin around and say ‘Is that a hip hop festival?!‘ Indeed it is, young buck, indeed it is.

It took about half an hour after that for us to decide that we’re going to go to America next year in May for three weeks, with the intention of making our way from the West Coast [stopping to see wine country and desert!] to the Mid-West, to go to Soundset and visit Detroit.

If the Soundset lineup is uninspiring, we’re going to look at the lineup for the Sasquatch Festival in Washington!

Obviously it’s early days, leave needs to be approved, money needs to be saved, festival tickets and flights need to be bought, but to be honest, if I get to visit the desert in Arizona and see some of the Mid-West, I’d be so happy.

And then there’s vague plans in the works for New York in 2012…


On the 17th of October, Micheal Larsen, better known as Eyedea and one half of the duo Eyedea & Abilities passed away. He was only 28. I don’t know how or why, but I do know losing anyone that young is poignant and I’ve found a great deal of pleasure in his music. It wasn’t about being perfect, it was about being passionate.

If it’s a sunny, quiet afternoon wherever you are, have a listen to ‘Smile’.

The Illustrated Fiona

Last night I had the pleasure of going to take photos of my friend Fiona getting tattooed for the first time. For weeks she has been pondering it, looking at different sizes of the design she wanted [the f hole from a Fender Telecaster Thinline], sneaking to the work printer to print them off, asking lots of questions about the pain [we’ve decided it’s not dissimilar to someone drawing on you with a pen, but pressing hard], and the big day finally came!

We went to Mischief Moon, where I got my most recent tattoo done a few months ago. Indeed, Fiona was tattooed by Greg, who did mine. My favourite thing about the Mischief Moon peeps is how long they spend with each client discussing designs and how honest they are about any potential issues with your design.

Which is very different to being tattooed by bikies in small country towns. And didn’t I learn that lesson the hard way? Twice. Actually no, make that three times.

I learn slow.

This is Greg. I find him funny, which is a selling point. Just don’t mention TV, pink, or Trent Reznor. Actually you can mention pink, just don’t ever say ‘Um, do I look like the kind of person who’d want to get a pink tattoo?’

This is Miss Fiona. She loves it. It was like truth serum. At one point she said something like ‘I love pain, I can take pain, give me more pain, YES! Anticipated pain!’

I wanted to ask for her PIN, just to see what would happen.

Pink tattoos. They are a good idea [no, really, I’m kinda tempted]!

Hello! Seriously, look at that fringe! I am a scissor-wielding god.

I don’t know how Fiona is feeling now [besides apparently waking up this morning and yelling ‘I am the coolest person in this bedroom!’] but I definitely have the itch…

She’s finally forgiven me for treading on her tail.

I mentioned that one gloomy Saturday morning, when I had woken far too early and felt hungover despite not drinking much the night before [yes, I am talking about this morning], that I found myself explaining my job to my cat.

My friend Fiona, of Hello Fiona fame asked if The Wuz’s eyes glazed over.

My response?

‘She can lick her own eyeballs’.

Not exactly the answer to Fiona’s question, but true nonetheless.

Nearly the squeakend!

We’re halfway through a crazy busy fortnight at work [as in providing 24 hour coverage rather than the usual 16 hours] and I have insomnia that could kill a horse. Several horses. A whole … flock of horses.

But it’s okay because it’s almost the weekend and I have plans. Excellent, excellent plans.

Tonight I am going on a date with Fiona because it is Fi and Julia Date Night. We are going to see the über-sexual Jonneine Zapata at the Annandale, where we have also booked a table for dinner. Dinner and a show? We are classy, classy ladies. Seriously though? Lady date for Jonneine Zapata? Hottest date night ever. Fiona and I are both in agreement that if Jonneine performs like this, we will both die:

Tomorrow night is my birthday dinner in Enmore. A bunch of my buddies and I are going out for Turkish and trouble. Jugs and jugs of cidery trouble. Inner West? You will not know what hit you.

Things keeping me sane: If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor by Bruce Campbell; Matt Chamberlain’s drumming on the ten minute plus version of ‘Waitress’ on Tori Amos’s album Venus Live: Still Orbiting; Sydney Park; Monteith’s Crushed Pear Cider; dreams of the Tamron SP AF 10-24mm f3.5-4.5 Di II lens; the countdown to New Zealand!