3. Losing someone you love is painful.
When I was 3 – 4, my best friend was Big Bird, or Biggy as I liked to call him. He was my constant companion, stuffed under my arm wherever I went. I loved that little guy with all of my toddler heart. One day I went to pick up Mary from school with my grandad, Pete, who was visiting from Tamworth. We waited at the netball courts and in my excitement about Pete’s visit (he was one of the sweetest, most gorgeous men I’ve ever known) I left Biggy there.
When I realised, we rushed back, but alas, Biggy was gone. I was heartbroken, no amount of hugs and kisses from parents or grandparents made it better and I mourned the loss of that little guy all the way from Orange to Kempsey where we later moved and I made a new best friend, Joshua the teddy bear.
4. You will always be melodramatic about death.
The first time I consciously remember thinking about death was during these years. I was in my front yard, climbing a tree and my bright blue gumboot got stuck in the fork of some branches and it was snowing and I thought to myself, ‘I am going to freeze to death. No-one will ever find me here. Farewell cruel world.’.
I was probably a foot of the ground and after a few seconds of tugging, my boot came loose and so came to an end my first brush with death.
Today’s question about turning 30 comes from @sirtessa: ‘Are you relieved to not be ‘young’ and subject to all the pressures of the media now that your age begins not with 2?’:
This is a tough one. I spent a lot of my early twenties not feeling young at all, I felt like all I did was pay bills and rent and make sure there was food in the house and sheets were cleaned and washing was put away.
In a way, I hope my thirties are a lot more carefree and I’m sensible in other ways, rather than just practical ones.
I’m glad that with age perspective does seem to come. I don’t care how I look compared to other people so much anymore, I’m not as hard on myself.
Having said that, I’ve had far too many conversations with people about what’s expected of women by the time they turn 30. I don’t have kids, a mortgage or a marriage and I’m tired of talking about all three already, whether it be people reassuring me that it’s fine not to (I know) or telling me to make sure I celebrate my thirties because I’m entering a new decade with none of the above.
I think each age has its trials, but I think maybe you care less and less about the socially-constructed expectations the older you get.