Category — Minutiae

On Sunday night my friend Pete passed away.

In 2009 doctors discovered a tumour in his brain and he was given several months to live. ‘Given’ is the commonly used term, but it’s not really accurate. No-one gave Pete anything except a prediction the he defied with a mix of courage, good grace, strength, an incredible work ethic and a healthy dose of dark humour. No-one gave Pete years more than was predicted, he took them and he took them with both hands and he ran with them. He travelled, he continued to report from the Press Gallery in Canberra, he raised awareness of his disease through promoting a charity very close to his heart, The Warwick Foundation and by writing an incredibly moving piece about living with cancer at age 25 and his subsequent marriage to the equal force of nature that is his wife, Bec.

The outpouring of emotion has been amazing, such a testament to who Pete was. I don’t think Pete’s age or illness has influenced the grief people are feeling so much as his personality did. He was colourful,  a throwback to an earlier time. He was tenacious, argumentative, well-read, inquisitive and funny. His energy knew no bounds and he and his tight unit of friends were often plotting adventures. They loved music so it was only natural that they pitched themselves to a band and went on an Australia-wide tour with them, acting as their official documentary makers. There was a fake (Or real? It didn’t really matter in the end, the myth became larger than any notion of truth) band, King Carcoar and the Faggots of Bracken.

There were many, many nights where Pete and his friends were holed up in our house, stereo cranked so loud that a local musician who lived nearby, and who was prone to noise himself, actually came around to complain. In Adam’s room, they would launch themselves around, off furniture, into the hallway, completely unselfconsciously screaming along to the lyrics and energetically air guitaring. I would lurk in the doorway of my bedroom across the hallway, watching them, equal parts amused and bemused. At the end of the night, it was always well worth finding yourself one the porch alone with Pete with one last cold beer, the sun threatening to come up, and him in an introspective mood. Pete was loud and brash and self confident, but he was also struggling, as we all do, with who he was and where to find his place in the world. In a few short years he would be making great strides in his career and happily ensconced in Canberra with Bec.

Pete’s colleague, Paul Osborne wrote an incredible piece about him, which does much more justice to the scope of grief and celebration of Pete’s life than I can, so I just want to end with one of my favourite memories of Pete, stirred up by this photo, courtesy of Adam Gartrell, the second half of one of history’s greatest bromances:

Pete, Adam and The Infamous Yellow Pants.

Oh those pants. First week of uni, hordes of nervous teenagers pretending not to be nervous while sitting in small groups on the lawn in front of the uni library, when along come someone whose youthful face clearly belied that he was one of us, fresh meat, yet unlike us, he was striding alone and very confident through the crowd, wearing the biggest, brightest yellow pair of pants I’ve ever seen.

That was the first time I’d seen Pete and before the first month of uni was over, he was a firm part of my wider circle of friends, a loud presence on the lawn where we lay in the sun between classes, a total goof and a genuinely sweet guy.

Like everyone else, I’m going to miss you, Pete, you are honestly unforgettable.

I’ve always wanted really curly hair instead of the incredibly thick, dead-straight hair I have.

Work was quiet, there was an afro wig. The rest, as they say, is history.

This is a little something my friends and I have filled out at the end of the year for a couple of years now. Some of the questions are a little bit trite, but it’s a good way to quickly summerise a year and its bits and pieces.

1.What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

- travelled to the US,
- shot a gun,
- drove on the “wrong” side of the road,
- spontaneously decided to move,
- went on a date.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I can’t remember if I made any this year. If I did, they were probably weight-related, the most boring of all resolutions and I did okay-ish with that insomuch as I discovered I kinda like going to the gym and I really like doing weights.

I have one broad resolution for 2012, the minute details of which I won’t bore you with, but which is that in the new year, I am going to try my very hardest to never rest on my laurels.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My maternal grandmother after six months of a fairly debilitated life, post-stroke. Her illness last December and the subsequent health scares at the start of this year really threw life into a tailspin and I don’t think I really recovered from that until the last few months. It was hard to find rhythm this year with such a dark cloud hanging over us.

5. What countries did you visit?

Seven states of the USA!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Control of my anxiety, a better work/life balance, a better budget for my money, a sense of challenging myself and of achievement and a really long list of books I’ve given myself time to read. I’d also like to cook more, really, I refuse to believe it’s that hard and every meal I cook at home is money saved for a trip later in the year (this is me publicly bribing myself to cook, I know).

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I am horrendous with dates. I can never remember which of two dates in March my mum was born. Investigation with her led me to discover she wasn’t born on either of them.

I’ll have a hard time forgetting the evening we sat on the dunes at Death Valley watching the sun set, or the rainy day we spent wandering around Portland, or the night we saw Shellac in Vegas, or drinking away long evenings in Tucson. Most of the memories I’d like to never forget were crammed into a short space of time at the end of this year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Saving for the US trip, which almost always meant I was living pay day to pay day, yet I never folded and blew my budget. I did; however, miss out on a lot of fun by always being broke, and that was a big factor in my decision to try sharehousing again.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don’t think it was a failure, because I’ve made solid and smart decisions to deal with it, but my stress levels this year were pretty off the charts and I’m fairly keen to avoid that needlessly again.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I got diagnosed with Old Man’s Disease and I’m constantly covered in bruises from mysterious accidents, but that’s it really. I am generally pretty gung-ho heath-wise, which I shouldn’t be, considering my penchant for no sleep and less than ideal food.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A plane ticket to the US, a bottle of wine from Maynard Keenan’s Caduceus Cellars, books including Christopher Hitchen’s Arguably, a skull-shaped ring in San Fran, my Prada glasses and any meal that I shared with friends.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My parents, who, as trite as it sounds, are always there when I need them. I had a few friends and members of my family who talked me off the ledge, so to speak, when I couldn’t think clearly and see that every problem has an obvious path to solution and one or two people who have been ridiculously encouraging this year. These people are all The Good People and I hope that in the future I can provide for them what they have for me.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled?

I wasn’t really appalled, but my own behaviour left a lot to be desired. There was a lot of missed opportunity this year and I gotta stop sweating the small stuff.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent and saving for the trip. And a lot of chicken and cashew nut stir-fries. A lot. By which I mean more than should be humanly possibly to consume. Why my local Thai place never mocked me, I will never know … though right before I moved, they did close down. Maybe my habitual eating was all that was keeping them going. Vale Thai Delight.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The US trip, Tucson, Portland, meeting SJ of I, Asshole fame in Seattle and Melbourne date night.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

‘Monsoons’ by Puscifer and ‘In My Time’ by Kurt Vile.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
a) Happier
b) Thinner
c) Richer
Happier, thinner, richer. Sounds like the title of a Radiohead song.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Reading.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

F5-ing the Internet.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

I went to my parents’ farm. There were eight adults and one almost two-year-old. It was kinda crazy and awesome.

21. What was your favourite TV program?

I didn’t watch a lot of TV this year. I caught up on some Mad Men and I liked what I saw of Sons of Anarchy. I’ve been told over and over that I need to get into Breaking  Bad, so that’s my next TV move.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I find this a weird question, like if I say no, I’m somehow failing. I need to be more active in my hating obviously. I don’t really hate people, there are people who are relevant in my life and people who aren’t; people I love spending time with and people I honestly don’t care if I never see again, but it’s a much more passive feeling than hatred.

23. What was the best book you read?

Infinite Jest. My mind is still reeling from that one. I don’t think a book has ever sunk its hooks in quite like this one did. It was frustrating and disturbing and brilliant and painful. Afterwards I read two books of essays by David Foster Wallace, A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again and Consider the Lobster and was terribly envious of just how talented DFW was.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Kurt Vile.

25. What did you want and get?

Halloween, albeit a weird one, in the US!

26. What did you want and not get?

Less stress.

27. What was your favourite film of this year?

I really enjoyed Ides of March.

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 29 and went to The Dip with a small group of people and ate amazing hot-dogs and drank amazing cocktails.

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Great friends, new/old people.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Blërg. A few weeks ago I got rid of a third of all of my clothes and put another third into storage. Come winter, my personal fashion concept is Daphne Guinness.

31. What kept you sane?

Lifting weights (I seriously can’t explain how good the buzz is after half an hour of weights), heckling Chunklet, blagging, laughing with Mush and long phone calls with Kel. Also, Jeff.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Is there any answer to this question that isn’t Ryan Gosling?

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Opposition to gay marriage and the continuing lack of accountability for the GFC.

34. Who did you miss?

My paternal grandparents, deeply.

35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

The worst possible outcome is rarely the actual outcome. Also, I’m good at some of the things I love doing. I should devote more time to them.

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

In my day I was young and crazy
Sure I didn’t know shit but now I’m lazy
One day I won’t know what was better
Then again and now I want much of nothing anyway
Two of us, one on each shoulder, I’m tryin’ to turn
We’re pullin’ over, in this shoulder, ain’t driving
I know when I get older, I’m dyin’
Well I got everything I need and now
And it’s fine now.

‘In My Time’ – Kurt Vile

Despite how it sounds, I’m in a really good place and I’m really happy. I feel ready for 2012 and making stuff happen rather than waiting for it.

Hello Julia

Hello blog.

What are you doing, Julia?

Trying to make it through Friday, blog, and wondering why you’re talking like HAL 9000.

Hehe! I was wondering if you would notice that!

Of course I did.

Do you like 2001: A Space Odyssey?

You know what? I know I’m meant to, but I saw it when I was, uh, a bit under the weather which made it seem  eight hours long and I’ll be honest, I was disappointed there wasn’t more screen time given to those crazy chimps.

That made you sound really uncultured. Why have you been so quiet lately?

Insomnia, blog. I’m too tired to think in coherent sentences.

Remember that time you slept on a Monday night, then you didn’t sleep again at all until the next Sunday night?

Yes.

Remember how on the Saturday you started hallucinating and thought you could speak German?

Yes.

That was funny.

It really wasn’t that funny. It was frustrating trying to remember the German word for ‘cup’ which I never knew to begin with, but not being able to remember that I didn’t know it to begin with.

I see what you mean about coherent sentences. At least today’s Friday and it’s almost the weekend. What are you doing this weekend?

I’m going to the farm, blog. Apparently it might snow!

How are you getting there?

I’m driving, by myself. Well, in convoy with Fi and Marty, but I’ll be alone in my car.

Oh. What about the … the thing? The thing about you and driving, especially alone?

You mean what about how I’m terrified of driving alone in the city because of the terrible car accident I was in that made me give up driving and cooking?

You never cooked, you loser!

Sure I did! Then I got too scared.

No you didn’t, you are a terrible cook. Back to the driving. Let’s face your real fear.

Well blog, in just over a month, I am leaving for a month long road trip in America. It would be good to get some driving in before then, so I thought driving for four hours by myself would be a good idea?

This is going to be interesting. Manual or auto?

Go manual or go home.

Why?

Because it requires a greater amount of skill and interaction with the vehicle? Also, Dad made me learn in a manual so I drive them much better.

Are you making a travel mix?

Hells yes!

What’s it going to be, you only make two kinds, whimsical and metal. Are you currently heartbroken or angry, Julia?

Why are you such a jerk? I’m neither. I’m going to combine the two.

Ok, so what’s going on them?

Well, at the moment, I think Kurt Vile, Cat Power, 13 & God, Themselves, Tool, Eyedea & Abilities, Jezebels, P.O.S … I don’t know, do you really want me to list them all?

Nope, that was a thoroughly boring exercise to be honest.

You are.

Your mum is.

Your mum is!

What are you doing in Orange?

Visiting friends, going to a wine and cheese bar, cooking steak for dinner at a pub, visiting the Blue Mountains.

Taking a camera?

Yes.

So you might actually put some photos up here next week for a change?

Yes! >:( You make me very angry blog.

You know what? You bore me, I’m prefer Poor Stevie, I’m going over there.

Me too, blog. Me too.

The Trials of Batgirl aka Divorce is a Many Splendid Thing

Yesterday I decided to be a nicer, more approachable person, and with that intent, I bounced out of bed at 5:30am this morning and went to the gym.

Out of the gloom of my local butchery, came a construction worker. As we passed, I smiled and cheerfully shouted ‘GOOD MORNING!’ above the din of my iPod…which was almost enough to drown out the comment he made about my arse.

I decided to try again when tonight I found myself in Kings Cross, a nighttime den of sin, strip clubs and drugs for those unfamiliar. I was in the Cross on a Tuesday night to provide company for one of my team members from work, who was getting a tattoo and who I didn’t much want to leave alone in the Cross, plus who wants to get tattooed alone?

As we waited, a Russian man came in, clearly drunk or high, to check on his friend who was in the chair. He sized us up and smiled. Cautious after my morning’s experience, I said hi but nothing else. Then he came over and said ‘You gurls ‘ave dis bag of choco-lates if you like’. Having had a run in with some Russians before, I was wary and smiled weakly as he placed a plastic bag stuffed with chocolates next to me and disappeared back into the strip club cleverly called ‘Strippers’ next door.

I’m giving this niceness thing one more day to kick in or else I’m going back to cantankerous.

/bôspäd/ (say bospod)

noun 1. An iPod containing nothing but the music of American singer-songwriter Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen, nicknamed “The Boss”. Normally used to entertain groups of adults on road trips in the United States of America.

When I was a kid, I loved MAD. Oh I used to guffaw while reading it, wearing my Garfield glasses (which came with wind-up windscreen wipers), tapping my bubble pipe, slapping my knee as I cried ‘So true! So true!’ while I read The Lighter Side of…

Those were the days.

Edit: My mum also just reminded me that for years I had a Bart Simpson-shaped alarm clock that said ‘Yo dude! Time to get up and get out of bed!’

I had to end Bart’s life when he started talking in the middle of the night.

I judge coffee addicts. I judge those people who are all ‘Oh, I need my morning coffee or I can’t even function!’ and I think to myself, yeah, it must be really hard to function in your adult house, while you select your adult shoes from your adult cupboard before you kiss your adult [or hopefully adult] partner before he/she heads out to their adult career. I make that association when people talk about coffee, that or I think about Christina Aguilera because many coffee names sound like Lady Marmalade lyrics.

However, until today it didn’t occur to me that I am a hypocrite, because I drink V all the time [no Mum, not all the time, once or twice a morning and never in the afternoon or before bed] and it’s caffeinated. And I go crazy. And the dev department feel it necessary to tell me that they had to quit V after drinking seven of them in one night to stay awake at nightclubs and I’m displaying signs of V addiction and they would know. And I was all ‘Hahaha! What’s a nightclub?’